Does Malcolm own a gun?

Often in my days I think of the people I know. Often it will be a passing thought inspired by a sudden memory, or perhaps an in joke that really really doesn't translate well. Usually I feel a slight bit of melancholy and reach for the phone. Or, alternately, the cookies if I'm trying to eat the sad away.

On other occassions I read something that causes me to laugh loudly. And even more rarely it is something so delightful that I am not certain I could live through being the bearer of this news. This is one of those things.

Those of you who know Malcolm (and if you don't you may as well skip the rest of this post) will know him as a quiet man. But an intensely passionate one when it comes to certain topics and themes. He is also a devoted fan of Chan Wook-Park's films. This "revenge" series is hard to explain, so let's look to the internet. Hmmmm. Let's see. Ah here we go. Old boy is succinctly described as "the gritty, disturbing, completely fucked up Korean revenge movie." Yup, that sounds about accurate. And Old Boy is the only one of them (trilogy?) that I've seen.

So when I read that Will Smith is set to star in the American remake...

(looks quickly about to check for an enraged Malcolm)

I knew this was something I needed the world to know. Especially the world that knows Malcolm. Cause honestly while I deeply desire the experience of seeing the many shades of colour he will turn, I also desire not to be the man he offhandedly murders in his rage.

And since Furlak refuses to record the moment that Malcolm is told I am forced to go with the power of imagination. So this is my vision.

T+0 seconds: Malcolm receives the news and stops dead in midword. Observers would relate that it was clear he didn't want to initially believe it.

T+1 second: Malcolm slowly lifts his head until he is staring straight up at the ceiling with the weary look of suffering that only years of being a Catholic can provide, his hands slowly curl into fists

T+2 Seconds: Perhaps the loudest single profanity ever uttered in the history of sentient life is heard to echo throughout not just his apartment, but much of the Western World. Will Snith gets a nosebleed from the raw hate.

I'm pretty sure that's how it will play out...