Hard Choices

So there's been a bunch going on in my life over the last couple of weeks. Work is busy, challenging, fun, frustrating, and good as a whole. With power (and no, I can't really claim "great" though there are more than a few people depending on me) comes responsibility (see what I just said about "great") or at the very least it can certainly result in alot of people calling you. I begin to understand why my boss is almost continuously on the phone (and probably contiguously if he wanted to be). Also last weekend at the cabin was absolutely and positively amazing. It's really nice to spend a weekend surrounded by people I care about who are all, pretty much universally, happier than they were last time I saw them. Great time, great friends, great games (and explosives), and a great energy. And tonight I'm going to see Wall-e (or however it's spelled) which is supposed to be a pretty good show.

So yeah, life has been pretty much outstanding. I'm not just saying that to brag (though I am bragging. I mean look at me!) but also to pump myself up a little cause (as per the title of the post) I have a hard decision to make. See Big Brothers has come to the strange conclusion that I would be a positive influence in a child's life (weird!) and so I've passed the various checks and tests (and home invasion...I mean "inspection")and am now at the stage where I've been handed a piece of paper with five children listed on it with some basic stats. Siblings, age, disabilities, how long they've been waiting to be paired off...that sort of thing. These are the five the director thinks could most benefit from having a Big Brother.

And I'm paralyzed with indecision here. Which is really not like me. Even my detractors have to admit that it isn't my lack of ability to make decisions that they hate about me. But really how the hell do I do this?!? The director actually suggested that if I could narrow it down to two that I flip a coin. Not to trivialize the decision but simply because "for some people that's the only way they can decide". And I'm tired (again the great weekend and busy work) and when I'm tired I tend to become more emotional and kind of womanly.

So this is where you come in. See I'm not going to ask you to choose for me (cause that is neither fair nor can I really reveal anything meaningful on my blog vis a vis confidentiality) but rather ask you to answer a question. And I'm trying to avoid melodrama here but here's whats bothering me when I stare at this list.

How do you pick one child without feeling that you've implicitly rejected all the other ones?

Edit: Wall-E was awesome. Also after re-reading this post 2 or 3 times as though that will help me decide which of the final 3 I'll select, I decided that "tears me up inside" is actually just melodrama. It's not entirely inaccurate but "bothering me" seems a little closer to home now that the initial surge of "Good god I'm a bad person cause I can't help all of them" has passed.