Danny Donkey is my new God
Well, Rat is anyway. He both writes Danny Donkey and also delivers unmitigated justice down on the deserving.
Did I mention I no likey the puns?
Anyway, I got older the other day. I do like the idea that one's chronological age is a static item up until, but not including, the day that marks the anniversary of your arrival in the world.
Sidenote: Do pro-lifers try to figure out the moment of conception so they can accurately celebrate their birthday? Seems like they would be hypocritical not to. But then I'm pretty much completely pro-choice (especially since, as a guy, it's not gonna be my body becoming a science experiment) so I think most of the pro-life arguments are weak.
But I digress, though I do admit that I tend to reflect on my life to date far more often on my birthday rather than on the New Year. It fits within my rather self-involved mentality that the year in review shold properly be from when I entered it. Also it fits into my theory that the universe only exists when I'm a part of it. Someday I'll tell you the highly scientific evidence I have gathered, but the internet already has enough crazy so I'm not going into it here.
The Year In Review Including Current Condition (Short Version)
Compared to a year ago I'm awesome in everyway. Every way? Is it two words or one?
There isn't going to be a long version of this. Basically if you can think of any aspect of a person's life (financial, social, emotional, professional) it all was pretty much gone to crap. As a matter of fact the Ides of March were pretty much the lowest point I'd been in the last couple of years (though not the lowest ever....that would be 2005) since I got a few pieces of news that (at the time) pushed me pretty close to collapse. You may notice that I didn't blog about my birthday (or much of March) last year.
Waaaahhhh...my life was ashes. There, I had a good cry about it.
This year I has good job and even "career" which I'd seen on nature shows but didn't think I'd ever experience. I has had a healthy relationship (over now, but still, was nice) and am really well...getting ever more arrogant about myself and my life. I think I need to dial it down a little. Last year I did schoolwork, had dinner at a food court, then watched In Bruges by myself. This year I drank wine and sang much Karoke (Yay Dave!) and was surrounded by people that love me or at least are amused by me (Hi Dave's minions!) and it was a great time.
Back to the ego thing. Or, as I like to call it...
FIVE THINGS THAT KEEP BEN HUMBLE!
5) Swimming
I went swimming for the first time in a while yesterday. I did maybe 15 lengths in 25 minutes. Keeping in mind that I have (seriously) been going to the gym about 4 times a week on average for the last two months. I thought I was getting into pretty good shape. I WAS WRONG.
4) The old guy in my lane.
I got there at 6:05am. He was already racking out lengths like a metronome. Not quickly but he didn't pause or slow. Tic - length, flip in water, kick off wall - Tock - length, flip in water, kick off wall - Tic. And he was like 50. Seriously I was puffing after two in a row and my arms were deadweights after 20 minutes and this guy was still going when I left.
3) John Hamm
Cause not only is he aggravatingly handsome. Not only is he tremendously talented. But he's funny too! Not fair!!!
2) My friends
Everything I do well is matched by the fact that I *know* someone who does it better than I do. Seriously. Yes, even that. Now the number of people I know who do a bunch of things better than me is a bit shorter, but still. Of course I wouldn't hang out with non-awesome people...
1) "Did you get fatter in the changing room?"
That's right, Amy gets a special mention. Whether it's asking if I got fatter in the last two minutes, or asking me to send her my photo from my interview (but only if I look mentally deficient) or the various "Ooookaaay...if you say so" that follow my egoistic comments. But seriously, it's meant with love and I appreciate it.
Besides...I'm the one who started calling her "Tugboat". So it's not a one-way street in by any stretch.
Oop, 4:30. Work days over...heh (best job ever!)
Did I mention I no likey the puns?
Anyway, I got older the other day. I do like the idea that one's chronological age is a static item up until, but not including, the day that marks the anniversary of your arrival in the world.
Sidenote: Do pro-lifers try to figure out the moment of conception so they can accurately celebrate their birthday? Seems like they would be hypocritical not to. But then I'm pretty much completely pro-choice (especially since, as a guy, it's not gonna be my body becoming a science experiment) so I think most of the pro-life arguments are weak.
But I digress, though I do admit that I tend to reflect on my life to date far more often on my birthday rather than on the New Year. It fits within my rather self-involved mentality that the year in review shold properly be from when I entered it. Also it fits into my theory that the universe only exists when I'm a part of it. Someday I'll tell you the highly scientific evidence I have gathered, but the internet already has enough crazy so I'm not going into it here.
The Year In Review Including Current Condition (Short Version)
Compared to a year ago I'm awesome in everyway. Every way? Is it two words or one?
There isn't going to be a long version of this. Basically if you can think of any aspect of a person's life (financial, social, emotional, professional) it all was pretty much gone to crap. As a matter of fact the Ides of March were pretty much the lowest point I'd been in the last couple of years (though not the lowest ever....that would be 2005) since I got a few pieces of news that (at the time) pushed me pretty close to collapse. You may notice that I didn't blog about my birthday (or much of March) last year.
Waaaahhhh...my life was ashes. There, I had a good cry about it.
This year I has good job and even "career" which I'd seen on nature shows but didn't think I'd ever experience. I has had a healthy relationship (over now, but still, was nice) and am really well...getting ever more arrogant about myself and my life. I think I need to dial it down a little. Last year I did schoolwork, had dinner at a food court, then watched In Bruges by myself. This year I drank wine and sang much Karoke (Yay Dave!) and was surrounded by people that love me or at least are amused by me (Hi Dave's minions!) and it was a great time.
Back to the ego thing. Or, as I like to call it...
FIVE THINGS THAT KEEP BEN HUMBLE!
5) Swimming
I went swimming for the first time in a while yesterday. I did maybe 15 lengths in 25 minutes. Keeping in mind that I have (seriously) been going to the gym about 4 times a week on average for the last two months. I thought I was getting into pretty good shape. I WAS WRONG.
4) The old guy in my lane.
I got there at 6:05am. He was already racking out lengths like a metronome. Not quickly but he didn't pause or slow. Tic - length, flip in water, kick off wall - Tock - length, flip in water, kick off wall - Tic. And he was like 50. Seriously I was puffing after two in a row and my arms were deadweights after 20 minutes and this guy was still going when I left.
3) John Hamm
Cause not only is he aggravatingly handsome. Not only is he tremendously talented. But he's funny too! Not fair!!!
2) My friends
Everything I do well is matched by the fact that I *know* someone who does it better than I do. Seriously. Yes, even that. Now the number of people I know who do a bunch of things better than me is a bit shorter, but still. Of course I wouldn't hang out with non-awesome people...
1) "Did you get fatter in the changing room?"
That's right, Amy gets a special mention. Whether it's asking if I got fatter in the last two minutes, or asking me to send her my photo from my interview (but only if I look mentally deficient) or the various "Ooookaaay...if you say so" that follow my egoistic comments. But seriously, it's meant with love and I appreciate it.
Besides...I'm the one who started calling her "Tugboat". So it's not a one-way street in by any stretch.
Oop, 4:30. Work days over...heh (best job ever!)
posted by Bne | 2:55 PM
6 Comments:
You have a talent for finding the most offensive nicknames. Every time I hear "Tugboat", I want to do violence to you. Well, more than usual.
Happy Belated Birthday Bne. I sad that I missed you last weekend. We'll have to celebrate next time you are in town.
heh
Did I neglect to mention that I also made foghorn noises and pushed up against the wall when she passed me in the halls?
We have a special friendship!
Well, it's only "Tugboat" that keeps me from eating biscuits and gravy three times a day. Once again, an example of how my life is an exquisite balance of the Seven Deadly Sins.
(but it doesn't help that I've always sort of liked tugboats. They're cute! And helpful!)
I've always maintained the opinion that my life is one long struggle between sloth, greed, and lust.
Right now they are all being crushed by "practicality"...well except greed which continues to be sloth's bitch.
Mine are Pride, Sloth and Gluttony. Fortunately Pride weights the balance enough to counter the other two. Mostly. :)
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