Bne Vs The Mountain Part Deux
So I would have posted sooner, but the symmetry of posting today was just too strong to do otherwise. One month since my last post and one more month til my program is over. I know it doesn't make alot of sense but please keep in mind that this is the man whose addiction to Freecell was broken by getting a record of 121 wins 11 losses. And I really like factors of 11...so what could I do.
Let us begin with the discussion of today...or rather from Thursday when Furlak said "You should come boarding with me on Saturday." And I said "I'm so crazy with school right now that...you know what...fuck it". So Furlak took me snowboarding for my birthday. Which was cool at the time but has left me in an equivalent state to if he'd just beat me stupid (go ahead with the jokes) with a wiffle bat. Except that it cost more. And was way more fun. And, despite popular theories to the contrary, I don't think I'd like being beaten with a Wiffle bat, even if said bat was wielded by Anne Hathaway.
mmmmmm Anne Hathaway
And he's back. So anyway many of you (both of you) may recall the tales of my last mano eh mountain battle. I can sadly report that I can be taught and so this time I had a helmet (It's white!) and wrist guards. So although I did headbutt the car (which wouldn't have happened had I not had said helmet on) I did avoid doing any wrist falls or front head springs. It snowed alot, and it was really nice and fun and I hurt all over.
Cause...dun dun duuuuhhh...well I know why my shoulder hurts. See there's this fence. It's made of bamboo shoots for sticks and orange platic stuff and, traditionally, one goes around the fence. But not I! No sir I'd had it up to HERE with your RULES!!! So I decided not to go around it. You see as I approached I realized that I'd cut it too close and was going to go through the fence. I mean...I *chose* to go through the fence. Now since I didn't want to closeline myself or impale myself (f-ing bamboo is sharp!) the simplest plan was to throw myself into a shoulder roll into the fence crushing it under my amazing ninja monkey like skillz. And fatass. But mostly skillz with a "z".
It wasn't my fault though. See there was this guy out teaching his girlfriend to snowboard and everytime I came within about 20 feet of him I took a pretty good spill. So you can see the causality here.
Anyway I learned some valuable lessons:
1) If you got the green run down right away on your second day ever boarding this does not mean that you should only do the blue runs afterwards.
2) If you're boarding with someone who has done it alot more than you (see: Furlak) then if he's going much slower than you it's probably not entirely because he's a pussy.
3) If you can't see cause you spilled while going much faster than the Furlak and coated your lenses in snow, the proper approach is not to "sorta wipe them off and carry on" since the snow on your glasses may prevent you from recognizing where your snow covered board ends and the mountain begins. Which might (in theory) knock you over a few times.
I know, words of infinite wisdom right.
In other news, as previously mentioned, there's only one more month til I'm done school. Which is not entirely good news since it means it's one month to get 7 final projects, 7 finals, and about 6-8 odd assignments done. Oh yeah, and a group project, and finding a practicum post. The worst part is that it's too much so I'm not even stressed about it all. Which means I'm not going to the gym as much as I was. It's getting hard to take this program seriously on any level to be honest. I asked the student liason if she could tell me whom, of my previous employers, had written me a letter so I could rely on them for a reference. To which she replied "When I moved offices I lost alot of files". That's right, she "lost" student files.
sigh
Anyway. Snowboarding awesome. Going to California in a month and a week...also awesome. Being done school...pretty awesome. The next month of my life. Not so much.
So I've reread what I wrote and it's slightly incoherent. But I'm exhausted so what are you gonna do. heh. In *your* face spaceman!
Let us begin with the discussion of today...or rather from Thursday when Furlak said "You should come boarding with me on Saturday." And I said "I'm so crazy with school right now that...you know what...fuck it". So Furlak took me snowboarding for my birthday. Which was cool at the time but has left me in an equivalent state to if he'd just beat me stupid (go ahead with the jokes) with a wiffle bat. Except that it cost more. And was way more fun. And, despite popular theories to the contrary, I don't think I'd like being beaten with a Wiffle bat, even if said bat was wielded by Anne Hathaway.
And he's back. So anyway many of you (both of you) may recall the tales of my last mano eh mountain battle. I can sadly report that I can be taught and so this time I had a helmet (It's white!) and wrist guards. So although I did headbutt the car (which wouldn't have happened had I not had said helmet on) I did avoid doing any wrist falls or front head springs. It snowed alot, and it was really nice and fun and I hurt all over.
Cause...dun dun duuuuhhh...well I know why my shoulder hurts. See there's this fence. It's made of bamboo shoots for sticks and orange platic stuff and, traditionally, one goes around the fence. But not I! No sir I'd had it up to HERE with your RULES!!! So I decided not to go around it. You see as I approached I realized that I'd cut it too close and was going to go through the fence. I mean...I *chose* to go through the fence. Now since I didn't want to closeline myself or impale myself (f-ing bamboo is sharp!) the simplest plan was to throw myself into a shoulder roll into the fence crushing it under my amazing ninja monkey like skillz. And fatass. But mostly skillz with a "z".
It wasn't my fault though. See there was this guy out teaching his girlfriend to snowboard and everytime I came within about 20 feet of him I took a pretty good spill. So you can see the causality here.
Anyway I learned some valuable lessons:
1) If you got the green run down right away on your second day ever boarding this does not mean that you should only do the blue runs afterwards.
2) If you're boarding with someone who has done it alot more than you (see: Furlak) then if he's going much slower than you it's probably not entirely because he's a pussy.
3) If you can't see cause you spilled while going much faster than the Furlak and coated your lenses in snow, the proper approach is not to "sorta wipe them off and carry on" since the snow on your glasses may prevent you from recognizing where your snow covered board ends and the mountain begins. Which might (in theory) knock you over a few times.
I know, words of infinite wisdom right.
In other news, as previously mentioned, there's only one more month til I'm done school. Which is not entirely good news since it means it's one month to get 7 final projects, 7 finals, and about 6-8 odd assignments done. Oh yeah, and a group project, and finding a practicum post. The worst part is that it's too much so I'm not even stressed about it all. Which means I'm not going to the gym as much as I was. It's getting hard to take this program seriously on any level to be honest. I asked the student liason if she could tell me whom, of my previous employers, had written me a letter so I could rely on them for a reference. To which she replied "When I moved offices I lost alot of files". That's right, she "lost" student files.
sigh
Anyway. Snowboarding awesome. Going to California in a month and a week...also awesome. Being done school...pretty awesome. The next month of my life. Not so much.
So I've reread what I wrote and it's slightly incoherent. But I'm exhausted so what are you gonna do. heh. In *your* face spaceman!
posted by Bne | 9:33 PM
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