Year end report (real long)
Well, it's 2:30am and Grosse Pointe Blank just ended. I'm up, though I'm certain on the other side of this curtain of sugar and caffeine is true exhaustion.
GPB came out in 1997. I just want to think about that for a second, since it was almost a decade ago now. It's one of those movies (like most John Cusack movies) that I can't beleive I don't own. And I can remember when it came out. I was 22 years old...it seems like it was both not that long ago, and even longer ago than it actually was.
And so I find myself in the perfect mindset to talk about the last year and the next.
It's been a hell of a year I must say. 2005 was, to put it mildly, fairly universally bad for me and 2006 seems to have been the redemption year. I never really talked about 2005 to anybody. Most of you know what occured and how I was, so there wasn't much need to delve into it. For those that don't, see if you can find the comments by the man who does Something Positive about his 2005....since we matched well. I don't want to get into it.
2006 however was a strange one. I mean there were (and sometimes still are) big chunks of time where I had/have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going.
Let's go back. It's January, I've been working two jobs and burning out and decided to quit waitering. My best friend Errin (yes two Rs, don't hold it against her) has just moved to Lethbridge, but I'm getting along famously with Jen (whom I keep meaning to call....on the off chance you still read this Jen, I miss you...) and am sort of coasting along but things are finally starting to improve. I've paid off my debts and am looking at building a career in Calgary. Then things change really fast. In no particular order:
1) Chris moves to Calgary. I gain a roomate, and a really great friend...although often I wish I was able to get out of the habit of talking WoW with him, but he know's it all and is one of the few people I know that I can talk about it with. I start working out regularly and getting whipped at squash (also by Chris, who turns out to be awesome at that).
2) Jenn gets into school in Lethbridge...sigh. All my friends move to lethbridge for god knows what reason.
3) Since Chris is my roomate now I ask if he would mind introducing me to the Kingdom Come game since I remember reading about it and thinking it was interesting and I have the time...
That one is like the fourth most life changing moment I have this year
4) I have a blast in Edmonton. The "get Ben to move to Edmonton" movement begins. Chris is on side too. It gains momentum when the only real friend I have in Calgary (other than Chris geez people) moves. I pretty much decide to move to Edmonton. Whether I stay with TELUS or not is undecided.
5) I get an email from Sophia asking what my excuse is to not visit them this year like I keep promising. I sit there at my cubicle realising that the only way I'm gonna be able to go is if I quit my job and just go. I have the money, I have the time, and I certainly have no holds on me...so I decide to just go for it. Sophia lives in London by the way.
This is the third most life changing decision of the year. I know, I would have thought it would rank higher too. Like I said, an odd year.
6) I decide to send a ton of postcards to do a "surprise, I'm in Europe thing". Included on this list is Erin. Oh, and Dad, since you now read my blog...umm I quit my job and went to Europe last summer...please don't get all ragey.
That last was the second most lifechanging decision I made last year
7) I go to Formenterra/Ibiza with JP. We fight alot, which is too bad, just we have radically different ideas about what we want to do and we're both rather headstrong people. Formenterra changes my life. Seriously, it sounds stupid, but the whole experience there had a simple but profound effect on me.
I'm lying on the beach, slightly drunk looking at the mediteranian sea and I released that I was ok. That I was over Erin, and that I wanted to move to Edmonton and that my life was going to be ok again. I mean sure there were some hiccups before but at that moment I knew I was ok. And there was no reason for me to go deeper into debt by staying in Europe.
That was the most life changing moment I had. I canceled the remainder of my trip and came home. I should also mention the moment with Rembrandt, since that will stay with me the rest of my life as well.
So anyway, I came back, and moved to Edmonton, and Shelly and Cori found me this awesome apartment, and my parent's lent me the money to cover rent so I could slack (ok not why they did it, but that's what happened) for the rest of the summer, and things just kept getting better. And Erin called me.
The Call:
So I go to the store to pick up some more coke, and I come back to the duplex in which Dave lives (and wherein I am staying while I get all moved and organised) and the door is locked. So I ring the doorbell to get them to let me in and my phone rings. So I answer and it's Erin, and just as I say hello, the door opens and I realise that I've gone to the wrong duplex door.
So there I am, talking to Erin for the first time in over a year, trying to explain to the guy that I'm at the wrong door and I actually check to see if I have pants on cause this is all very dreamlike. In a weird way it helped since I couldn't imagine that I could have looked like more of an idiot. Anyway I call Erin back from Dave's house and we chat for a bit and she invites me to Malc's bday rafting trip.
So we go rafting and Erin is still hot as hell and it's a blast and then after we go back to her place for the party and she and I end up talking. I'm not going to go into what was said, but it was a good talk...really good. Anyway I end up realising that I am truly over her which, as the amazing Suz told me, is neccesary for me to be able to date anyone.
Meanwhile in Edmonton I decide that bills need paying (and credit cards are maxing out) so I try to find work. Now I suck at job hunting, so after a few failed attempts I go ahead and get a serving job at Ruth's Chris. About this time is when I disappear from the day to day lives of the Edmonton Crew. There's a lot of stuff that happens around me (much of which is covered by previous blog entries) but the long and the short of it is that Erin and I slowly begin to forge something new out of our feelings for each other and even eventually (and very carefully) decide to begin again as a couple. I kind of dissapeared from a lot of people around this time, and I'm sorry about that.
So fall comes and goes with me working and seeing Erin. Life is pretty good. We're trying this new thing where we talk to each other about things, and we (and by "we" I mean "I" since Erin already does this) even listen to what the other person is saying. I'm not going to claim it was all bliss and sunshine, but we talk through the hiccups and things are going better than ever. Than I get the best Christmas present ever when Erin gets a totally awesome job in Edmonton. She's moving up here in two weeks. She'll be staying here til she finds a decent place of her own. We talked (there's that word again) about living together but since we haven't ever dated while living in the same city, and don't want to rush things, decided that she would get her own place and we'd progress normally from there. And yes, she will make more than I do, and no apparently this does not mean that I can quit working and lounge about playing video games all day and looking pretty (I asked). Also around this time I somehow manage to score Friday and Saturday as my days off from work.
So there you have it. 2006 consisted of me going from:
A) Living in Calgay with Chris, and my only Calgary based friends moving to Lethbridge. Job I didn't like, but bills paid, and in a succesion of meaningless empty, and at least in one case kind of destructive, relationships.
to
B) Two weeks in Europe (seeing friends, falling in love with paintings, and having a life changing moment on a beach)
to
C) Tons of friends I, ironically enough, never see. Living on my own in Edmonton, and entering into the single most amazing relationship I've ever been in, with a woman I adore who also (amazingly enough) feels the same about me. It speaks to my pessimistic nature that I'm almost as much worried as I am excited about 2007.
At this point I want to give a special thanks to some people. To my parents for supporting me even though Dad didn't know the depths of my stupidity (trust me, it's funny) without question or hesitation. To my Edmonton friends for putting up with me, especially Cori. And Cori and Shelly for finding my apartment and for being there for me when I needed you. To Chris for being an amazing roomate and all around great guy. I miss you man and I'm really glad you're coming up for New Years. To all my old friends too, MOVE TO EDMONTON. Jeff and Marcia have...it's not that hard. Mike and Jill I'm looking at you when I say that. Also to Suzi, Amy, and Rilla and Sky and Terri...you know what
All Y'all.
Thanks, I love you all.
And I'm very much looking forward to 2007.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
GPB came out in 1997. I just want to think about that for a second, since it was almost a decade ago now. It's one of those movies (like most John Cusack movies) that I can't beleive I don't own. And I can remember when it came out. I was 22 years old...it seems like it was both not that long ago, and even longer ago than it actually was.
And so I find myself in the perfect mindset to talk about the last year and the next.
It's been a hell of a year I must say. 2005 was, to put it mildly, fairly universally bad for me and 2006 seems to have been the redemption year. I never really talked about 2005 to anybody. Most of you know what occured and how I was, so there wasn't much need to delve into it. For those that don't, see if you can find the comments by the man who does Something Positive about his 2005....since we matched well. I don't want to get into it.
2006 however was a strange one. I mean there were (and sometimes still are) big chunks of time where I had/have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going.
Let's go back. It's January, I've been working two jobs and burning out and decided to quit waitering. My best friend Errin (yes two Rs, don't hold it against her) has just moved to Lethbridge, but I'm getting along famously with Jen (whom I keep meaning to call....on the off chance you still read this Jen, I miss you...) and am sort of coasting along but things are finally starting to improve. I've paid off my debts and am looking at building a career in Calgary. Then things change really fast. In no particular order:
1) Chris moves to Calgary. I gain a roomate, and a really great friend...although often I wish I was able to get out of the habit of talking WoW with him, but he know's it all and is one of the few people I know that I can talk about it with. I start working out regularly and getting whipped at squash (also by Chris, who turns out to be awesome at that).
2) Jenn gets into school in Lethbridge...sigh. All my friends move to lethbridge for god knows what reason.
3) Since Chris is my roomate now I ask if he would mind introducing me to the Kingdom Come game since I remember reading about it and thinking it was interesting and I have the time...
That one is like the fourth most life changing moment I have this year
4) I have a blast in Edmonton. The "get Ben to move to Edmonton" movement begins. Chris is on side too. It gains momentum when the only real friend I have in Calgary (other than Chris geez people) moves. I pretty much decide to move to Edmonton. Whether I stay with TELUS or not is undecided.
5) I get an email from Sophia asking what my excuse is to not visit them this year like I keep promising. I sit there at my cubicle realising that the only way I'm gonna be able to go is if I quit my job and just go. I have the money, I have the time, and I certainly have no holds on me...so I decide to just go for it. Sophia lives in London by the way.
This is the third most life changing decision of the year. I know, I would have thought it would rank higher too. Like I said, an odd year.
6) I decide to send a ton of postcards to do a "surprise, I'm in Europe thing". Included on this list is Erin. Oh, and Dad, since you now read my blog...umm I quit my job and went to Europe last summer...please don't get all ragey.
That last was the second most lifechanging decision I made last year
7) I go to Formenterra/Ibiza with JP. We fight alot, which is too bad, just we have radically different ideas about what we want to do and we're both rather headstrong people. Formenterra changes my life. Seriously, it sounds stupid, but the whole experience there had a simple but profound effect on me.
I'm lying on the beach, slightly drunk looking at the mediteranian sea and I released that I was ok. That I was over Erin, and that I wanted to move to Edmonton and that my life was going to be ok again. I mean sure there were some hiccups before but at that moment I knew I was ok. And there was no reason for me to go deeper into debt by staying in Europe.
That was the most life changing moment I had. I canceled the remainder of my trip and came home. I should also mention the moment with Rembrandt, since that will stay with me the rest of my life as well.
So anyway, I came back, and moved to Edmonton, and Shelly and Cori found me this awesome apartment, and my parent's lent me the money to cover rent so I could slack (ok not why they did it, but that's what happened) for the rest of the summer, and things just kept getting better. And Erin called me.
The Call:
So I go to the store to pick up some more coke, and I come back to the duplex in which Dave lives (and wherein I am staying while I get all moved and organised) and the door is locked. So I ring the doorbell to get them to let me in and my phone rings. So I answer and it's Erin, and just as I say hello, the door opens and I realise that I've gone to the wrong duplex door.
So there I am, talking to Erin for the first time in over a year, trying to explain to the guy that I'm at the wrong door and I actually check to see if I have pants on cause this is all very dreamlike. In a weird way it helped since I couldn't imagine that I could have looked like more of an idiot. Anyway I call Erin back from Dave's house and we chat for a bit and she invites me to Malc's bday rafting trip.
So we go rafting and Erin is still hot as hell and it's a blast and then after we go back to her place for the party and she and I end up talking. I'm not going to go into what was said, but it was a good talk...really good. Anyway I end up realising that I am truly over her which, as the amazing Suz told me, is neccesary for me to be able to date anyone.
Meanwhile in Edmonton I decide that bills need paying (and credit cards are maxing out) so I try to find work. Now I suck at job hunting, so after a few failed attempts I go ahead and get a serving job at Ruth's Chris. About this time is when I disappear from the day to day lives of the Edmonton Crew. There's a lot of stuff that happens around me (much of which is covered by previous blog entries) but the long and the short of it is that Erin and I slowly begin to forge something new out of our feelings for each other and even eventually (and very carefully) decide to begin again as a couple. I kind of dissapeared from a lot of people around this time, and I'm sorry about that.
So fall comes and goes with me working and seeing Erin. Life is pretty good. We're trying this new thing where we talk to each other about things, and we (and by "we" I mean "I" since Erin already does this) even listen to what the other person is saying. I'm not going to claim it was all bliss and sunshine, but we talk through the hiccups and things are going better than ever. Than I get the best Christmas present ever when Erin gets a totally awesome job in Edmonton. She's moving up here in two weeks. She'll be staying here til she finds a decent place of her own. We talked (there's that word again) about living together but since we haven't ever dated while living in the same city, and don't want to rush things, decided that she would get her own place and we'd progress normally from there. And yes, she will make more than I do, and no apparently this does not mean that I can quit working and lounge about playing video games all day and looking pretty (I asked). Also around this time I somehow manage to score Friday and Saturday as my days off from work.
So there you have it. 2006 consisted of me going from:
A) Living in Calgay with Chris, and my only Calgary based friends moving to Lethbridge. Job I didn't like, but bills paid, and in a succesion of meaningless empty, and at least in one case kind of destructive, relationships.
to
B) Two weeks in Europe (seeing friends, falling in love with paintings, and having a life changing moment on a beach)
to
C) Tons of friends I, ironically enough, never see. Living on my own in Edmonton, and entering into the single most amazing relationship I've ever been in, with a woman I adore who also (amazingly enough) feels the same about me. It speaks to my pessimistic nature that I'm almost as much worried as I am excited about 2007.
At this point I want to give a special thanks to some people. To my parents for supporting me even though Dad didn't know the depths of my stupidity (trust me, it's funny) without question or hesitation. To my Edmonton friends for putting up with me, especially Cori. And Cori and Shelly for finding my apartment and for being there for me when I needed you. To Chris for being an amazing roomate and all around great guy. I miss you man and I'm really glad you're coming up for New Years. To all my old friends too, MOVE TO EDMONTON. Jeff and Marcia have...it's not that hard. Mike and Jill I'm looking at you when I say that. Also to Suzi, Amy, and Rilla and Sky and Terri...you know what
All Y'all.
Thanks, I love you all.
And I'm very much looking forward to 2007.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
posted by Bne | 1:32 AM
4 Comments:
You made me cry.
Phone or visit sometime, and we will discuss. Stop making Suzi cry, you cad.
Bitch, why haven't you called G and I yet?
Also tell Rilla to check her email.
And hello.
I haven't called cause I work nights and then was usually in Calgary on the weekends.
I'll have to change that pattern.
Oh, and I will call you Ceno, just as soon as I find your # again since it got lost in the cell phone shuffle.
Mea Culpa
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