The Fly Meets Highlander
Or, more precisely, The Highlander Fly. (Que up "Who wants to live forever?").
No, I'm not pitching a movie idea, instead I am telling you about the ongoing tragedy that plays itself out in my apartment every few weeks. This has been going on for months but I wanted to be all scientific so I waited until I had enough observations to support my hypothesis.
See over the winter I have periodically come home (usually from being away for the weekend) to find a single fly that has come to my apartment to be killed/die. Now naturally I didn't realize that it was a single immortal fly trying to die immediately but as it happened over and over I came to conclude that there is no other rational explanation.
Consider:
1) There is only ever one fly.
- If there were flies breeding in my apartment there would be more than one, probably alot more
2) The fly only shows up every couple of weeks
- Again if there were flies breeding in my apartment, the pace of arrival would be considerably faster/constant
3) It makes only a token effort to avoid death, if that.
- Often it doesn't even try to fly away when I kill it with a kleenex. Flies tend to be difficult to kill (hence the existence of varied means of tricking them or being quicker than they are). One time it flew over and landed in the sink drain, all I had to do was turn on the water for 2 seconds and it was gone.
4) After being "Crushed to death" a few times, it started to use my apartment to commit suicide
- I have come home to find it drowned in the toilet bowl and even frozen to death in my fridge. Seriously, it wants to die! I've been tempted to leave my burner on to see if it will self-immolate, but you know...fire hazard
So there you have it. Clearly my apartment was the site of the final duel between the last two highlander flies and now the "winner" has despaired. Though, to be fair, it's been over a month since the fridge death and it hasn't returned so maybe it has found meaning in immortality.
It would be kind of depressingly tragic if it wasn't a fly and therefore, you know, totally inconsequential.
No, I'm not pitching a movie idea, instead I am telling you about the ongoing tragedy that plays itself out in my apartment every few weeks. This has been going on for months but I wanted to be all scientific so I waited until I had enough observations to support my hypothesis.
See over the winter I have periodically come home (usually from being away for the weekend) to find a single fly that has come to my apartment to be killed/die. Now naturally I didn't realize that it was a single immortal fly trying to die immediately but as it happened over and over I came to conclude that there is no other rational explanation.
Consider:
1) There is only ever one fly.
- If there were flies breeding in my apartment there would be more than one, probably alot more
2) The fly only shows up every couple of weeks
- Again if there were flies breeding in my apartment, the pace of arrival would be considerably faster/constant
3) It makes only a token effort to avoid death, if that.
- Often it doesn't even try to fly away when I kill it with a kleenex. Flies tend to be difficult to kill (hence the existence of varied means of tricking them or being quicker than they are). One time it flew over and landed in the sink drain, all I had to do was turn on the water for 2 seconds and it was gone.
4) After being "Crushed to death" a few times, it started to use my apartment to commit suicide
- I have come home to find it drowned in the toilet bowl and even frozen to death in my fridge. Seriously, it wants to die! I've been tempted to leave my burner on to see if it will self-immolate, but you know...fire hazard
So there you have it. Clearly my apartment was the site of the final duel between the last two highlander flies and now the "winner" has despaired. Though, to be fair, it's been over a month since the fridge death and it hasn't returned so maybe it has found meaning in immortality.
It would be kind of depressingly tragic if it wasn't a fly and therefore, you know, totally inconsequential.
posted by Bne | 11:07 AM
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